The Lady Is a Tramp

My four year old son has had many obsessions: building machinery, trains, pirates, vikings, Playmobile toys, ancient Egypt. But now, there's something new: naked Barbie.

I was so thrilled when my six year old daughter banished Barbie to the trash heap. She understands how ordinary, how mass produced, how cheap and tawdry Barbie really is. Now, my boy, my little bundle of testosterone is obsessed with Barbie.

He has Barbie in the tub, Barbie in his room, Barbie clutched in his hands as he goes to sleep at night. He wants clothing and accessories. He wants a life size Barbie.

I never dreamt it would come to this.

We all thought that the anti-Barbie movement was about empowering our daughters. Well, it seems there's another reason to keep the plastic puta with "unrealistic" features (not necessarily true in our affluent suburb) out of your house!

Let me be clear: I have no problem with my four year old pirate king playing with dolls. The real problem is that I think he digs her tits.

What's a mother to do?

It's almost Saturday. I'll ask the Rabbi.

Chinese and a Movie

I cannot tell you how much I enjoy the recent assumption in our community that I am Jewish.

Now, I must admit, I've not done anything really to gain status as a Jewish person except to send my daughter to Hebrew school....apparently, that's enough! So many warm and friendly people have been embracing me as a member of the tribe, I haven't the heart to confess to my lapsed Catholicism and my philisophical leanings towards Eastern religions. Far too much has been assumed now to 'fess up.

It's all beginning to make sense to me: the love of show tunes, the excessive use of my hands when I speak, my need to be in New York, the peppering of my speech with the occassional "oy"...I guess I've always been a little Jewish .

On the other hand, I will never be able to accept Christmas day as Chinese food and a movie.

That's going a little too far, don't you think?